Modern Disease

by The Burden

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1.
04:59
2.
3.
4.
5.
03:50
6.
01:02
7.
04:35
8.
9.
10.
11.
04:05
12.
13.

credits

released June 21, 2016

Produced, Engineered, and Mixed by Connor Pritchard at Edgewood Audio (Prince George, BC)
Mastered by Stuart McKillop at Rain City Recorders (Vancouver, BC)
All songs written & performed by The Burden.
All Lyrics written by Jake Olexyn.
©2016 The Burden Music, all rights reserved.
Violin on Tracks 1, 8, 12 & 13 written & performed by Brittany Iwanciwsky.
Cello on Tracks 8 & 12 written & performed by Naomi Kavka.
Art Direction & Design by Eyeheart Creative
Photography by Brett Cullen
THEBURDEN is:
Jake Olexyn, Guitars & Vocals | Ross Vanosch, Bass | Rob Bacon, Guitar | Devin Vassallo, Drums

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Track Name: Senses
The secret’s out.
I believed in the vague, the words and the way, the circle came fully around.
i failed you, i tried.
I tried to believe in your words, felt deceived and I’m back at the start of it all.

And after all the things I’ve done,
the secrets out, and I can’t run
cornered in this crooked way
faith in tomorrow and sin in yesterday

I feel I failed, I feel I tried
I can’t get by on alibis
Faced with these, to leave this alone
left without answers, I’m chilled to the bone.

all egos aside
I’m lost and I know it
I’m honest I tried.
I wish I could show it.

We are the counter culture, leave all these stories untold.
We’ll suck the youth from your veins, we’ll leave you withered and cold.
Rewrite the books, sit down and pray.
And I’ll show you the way. Oh God, I’ll show you the way.

Oh I’m so lost again.

all egos aside
I’m lost and I know it
I’m honest I tried.
I wish I could show it.

And after all the things I’ve done
I can’t take back who I’ve become
After all the things I’ve seen
The one to blame is solely me.

It seems I’ve lost my way again, stubborn and young and I can’t pretend.
It seems I’ve lost my way again, and I can’t pretend.
Gripping for anything.

Where do I stand?
In the middle of all this.
Track Name: The Science of Settling
Keep me safe and secure
The rest is up to me
I’ve got my share of bumps and bruises
But the scars are all you’ll see

I’m the only one, who can save myself
and I’m helpless cause I’m scared of what’s become of me

I’ve got my share of bumps and bruises, but the scars are all you’ll see

And everything you gave to me is everything I never wanted.
After everything you said, I would’ve been better off dead.

It makes me sick, to know you’re content with yourself.
Life on standby and living in hell.
Are you desperate to know?
Paint me out of the picture and watch me go.

And everything you gave to me is everything I never wanted.
After everything you said, I would’ve been better off dead.

Shake off the dust my bones have collected, it turns me to rust so keep me protected
It seems I’ve lost my way again, and I can’t pretend.

The life I’ve loved, the love I’ve lost.
The shelter and comfort all comes with a cost.

Cause I feel alive, when I’m all alone.
It’s so cold and dark in this hell I call home.
So show me the way.

So this is what
What we create
When we’re content

Sick of it all, lost and alone, sick and content

Fear is what controls us all, from these heights whose shots do we call?
Track Name: Catastrophies
explode into fragments
fragments of the things we hold onto
we try as hard as we can
and still we're left behind
finding faith and holding onto hope
splinters pierce the skin and we’re stuck again
tied down and looking for a way out, a way out of this
wishing for the worst, and hoping for the best
holding close, I swear I won’t let go
Promise to catch me
when will we learn, when will we fall
we’re learning nothing at all, nothing at all
inhale exhale, pick up the pieces where they fall
inhale exhale, we’re done there’s nothing at all
the chills they consume me, I search for a way
the crowds are so crowded, they force me to stay
holding close, I swear I won’t let go
Promise to catch me
when will we learn, when will we fall
we’re learning nothing at all, nothing at all
when will you understand this is an addiction of mine?
the least that I can say, I’ve learned from my mistakes
we’re better than this
Track Name: SunsetSunrise
The satellites shine brighter than the dreams we once had.
We burned so bright but we failed to grasp,
The motion, and the notions that would take us so far.
Instead we wasted wishes on these shooting stars.

Kaleidoscope, Catastrophe.
I miss how much it meant to me

Belated words are spilling out
(They’re spilling out, they’re spilling out)
Oh God please help me shut my mouth.
(Please shut my mouth, please make me)

and never again
will I let this happen anymore
I’m sorry for the things I can’t take back
The things you hate me for

despite the things I’m left with, I pick up what’s there
Scatter the ashes, then take off and take care.
I can’t face these things they just leave me numb
I can’t change the person who I’ve become.

Belated words are spilling out
(They’re spilling out, they’re spilling)
Oh God please help me shut my mouth.
(Please shut my mouth, please make me)

and never again
will I let this happen anymore
I’m sorry for the things I can’t take back
The things you hate me for

I’m a little too long, and a little too late
Don’t let me make the same mistakes
Because I, can’t seem to make this right
just seem to make this wrong
I’m sorry for this time
I’ve wasted all along

Belated words are spilling out
(They’re spilling out, they’re spilling out)
Oh God please help me shut my mouth.
(Please shut my mouth, please make me)

and never again
will I let this happen anymore
I’m sorry for the things I can’t take back
The things you hate me for
Track Name: Define
You’re a wolf among sheep,
I’m just a pawn you play
Wishing I wouldn’t stay
but I won’t stop and pray
yeah I’ll just wish this pain away.

and `it’s getting harder to breathe again.
It’s getting harder to breathe.

I’ve been here before, I can see it in your eyes.
I pray you’ll move.

Tonight I’m nervous
Cause I can’t understand
I’m innocent
And I’m sticking to my plans

Yeah it’s getting harder to breathe
And I want to be better than this.

I hope for the best
But I know I’m the worst
In the long list of life, I pray that I come first
Here’s hoping.

I’ve been here before, I can see it in your eyes.
I pray you’ll move

Tonight I’m nervous
Cause I can’t understand
I’m innocent
And I’m sticking to my plans

And all of this was just a dream
I’m sick of wishing for, what will never be.

You’re gone again, and I’m left to remember.

With our backs against the wall, we find ourselves.

With everything you’re everything

I’ve been here before, I can see it in your eyes.
but I won’t move.
Track Name: Kintsugi
Imagine the weight of the world, crushing us all underneath.
It’s tragic to me that we’re incomplete.
I’m scared to see what’s yet to come, I’ll sit and wait or simply run.
What have I become?

This is who, who we are, let’s put on a show.

Oh, we’re all as broken as it seems, we’re stuck here waiting.
in pictures, yeah I smile wide, so confident in this life of lies.
Secrets they pour out of me, but I’ve kept things inside, that I don’t want you to see.

And I don’t want to be this way anymore.
I’m sick of the mirror, it’s shaking my bones to the core.

This is who, who we are, lets put on a show

Oh we’re all as broken as it seems, we’re stuck here waiting.
In pictures, yeah I smile wide, so confident in this life of lies
Secrets they pour out of me, but I’ve kept things inside, that I don’t want you to see.

We’re curious and comatose, and I don’t want the antidote.
I’m sick and sad as you can tell, my God, I know you know me well.
My God I know you know me well.
I’m sick and sad as you can tell, my God, I know you know me well.

We’re curious and comatose, and I don’t want the antidote, I’m sick and sad as you can tell.

Oh no, I’m giving up

Oh we’re all as broken as it seems, we’re stuck here waiting.
In pictures, yeah I smile wide, so confident in this life of lies
Secrets they pour out of me, but I’ve kept things inside, that I don’t want you to see.

But I’ve kept things inside that I don’t want to see.
Track Name: Love and Loss
She said don’t wait for me, cause I’m already lost.
And I’ll take back what’s mine no matter the cost.
This life is too short to be filled with conflicting
ideas I have but they’re all contradicting.

You need to live before you die, but I am too young to know better than that.
And when you’re lost and alone it’s easier to stay that way, alone and upset.

With my hands on the wheel and this weight in my chest, I know this can’t be it.
You won’t be impressed with the way I’ve been acting, but neither am I. It’s like having no wings and still trying to fly.

You need to live before you die, but I am too young to know better than that.
And when you’re lost and alone it’s easier to stay that way, alone and upset.

These words are deceiving but I still believe in them.
I won’t stop believing that we can be bigger than
The mistakes that we’ve made
The nights we’re not proud of
The love that we’ve lost.

These days we’re all struggling to breathe
Conflicted by what we believe
These are burdens we bear and we must learn to cope
Surviving each day, surviving on hope.

You need to live before you die, but I am too young to know better than that.
And when you’re lost and alone it’s easier to stay that way, alone and upset.
Track Name: Southern Charm
Just wait, I’ll surprise you yet, this life that I live is so full of regret.

She screams, this isn’t who I want to be.
She screams, this isn’t who I want to be.

It’s never over.

I wanted it to be, more significant, we’re lost again.
We paint this perfect picture, of impracticalities, (this isn’t who I want to be.)

Slowdance to this silence, douse the hall with gasoline.
We’ll burn this city down and make the sinners come clean.
who said we’re meant for more? I feel I’m never content
I’m sick of feeling this way, I’ll urge myself to repent

I wanted it to be, more significant, we’re lost again.
We paint this perfect picture, of impracticalities, (this isn’t who I want to be.)

And through it all, who’s sick and alone now?

Why are we so fucking ignorant?
I don’t know
This isn’t who I want to be.
Track Name: Narcisickness
the only things that I regret
are the chances I didn’t take
the time I’ve lost I can’t take back
I’ve learned to live with my mistakes

I said I’ll live with these mistakes.

This is where, we’re finding out
Where we stand, we’re making our
Master plans, and realize that
You were wrong all along

Have faith we’ll fall, and after it all I’m stuck and alone.
(I’m just a number)
Have faith we’ll fall, and after it all I’m stuck and alone.
(I’m just a number)

And when I’m dead and gone
I bet you’ll realize I was right all along
And when I’m dead and gone
I bet you’ll realize that I was right all along

Maybe when I start breathing again
We’ll pretend, it’s our means to an end.

Have faith we’ll fall, and after it all I’m stuck and alone.
(I’m just a number)
Have faith we’ll fall, and after it all I’m stuck and alone.
(I’m just a number)

And when I’m dead and gone
I bet you’ll realize I was right all along
And when I’m dead and gone
I bet you’ll realize that I was right all along

This life is short and I’ve paid the price, I want to live and love
I want to sacrifice. And I know you’ll realize, that I was right all along.

Have faith we’ll fall.
This is a crisis.
We’ll see who’s right in the end.
Track Name: Hiraeth
I’m in and out of glory days,
I’m dust on the shelf
I’m a whisper on the wind
I don’t need nobody’s help.

I’m scared of the future
and I’m clinging to the past
I’m thinking about where I’ve been
But this silence won’t last.

Sinking my teeth into familiar sights
I’ve got a jaws of a lion, still I’m losing this fight.


Away from this, I’ll reminisce, I know I’ll be fine
Come to grips with everything, and lose sense of time.
Feeling for something, something to hold onto
set my goals and follow through

I cling to transparency,
The future is truly scaring me
I cling to transparency
I’m a sucker for feeling sorry for myself.
no, I’m feeling sorry for myself

Sinking my teeth into familiar sights
I’ve got a jaws of a lion, still I’m losing this fight.


Away from this, I’ll reminisce, I know I’ll be fine
Come to grips with everything, and lose sense of time.
Feeling for something, something to hold onto
set my goals and follow through

I’m on the outside looking in
To a beautiful scene
With that homesick heartbreak
Time is trapped on the screen

If only I could change things
To the way it was back then
Keep my blind ambition
I wouldn’t have to pretend.

I’m vulnerable,
but I swear I’ll be fine
time is still ticking on this heart of mine

I’m vulnerable
But I’ll be okay
the presence of past tense
won’t wash me away.
Track Name: Pacific Lungs
This is a confession, to myself.
I admit I have my weaknesses
I admit I need help.
but this ship is sinking, all hands on deck.
there’s no way out and I’m a wreck

These eyes have seen a thousand places, a hundred hearts, and countless faces
yet I still struggle to find myself.

I’m leaving myself, a little more room to breathe
A little more room to change, these mistakes that I made myself
I admit responsibility but I’ll blame someone else


These eyes have seen a thousand places, a hundred hearts, and countless faces
yet I still struggle to find myself.

it’s too late to drop this anchor, this ship is going down.
the waves are crashing over me, I’ll breathe until I drown.


These eyes have seen a thousand places, a hundred hearts, and countless faces
yet I still struggle to find myself.

and all this time, I thought I never deserved more.
I swear I’ll settle up, yeah I’ll settle up this score
I was never good at much, but I’m so sure of this
If I make it out alive I swear I’ll learn to live.
Track Name: Modern Disease
I’ve been losing my faith
I’ve been settling for less
I’ve learned from mistakes
I’ve been too late at best
I’m unrealistic
I’ve become depressed
I’m too pessimistic
I’m not me, I confess
I’m self consumed, but that’s just me
I miss how things used to be
I’m just a lost soul at sea

This is all I am, a modern disease

I am the crack in the pavement
I am a modern disease

I am the rain on your parade
I am a modern disease

I am the lost and found
I am a modern disease

My life will turn around
I am a modern disease